(I029) When You Feel Stuck: What Japan -and My 20-Year-Old Self Taught Me About Belonging

I never thought quitting my varsity volleyball team would be part of my becoming. It felt like failure. But my first trip to Japan in 2000—at 20, for my Hatachi—changed that. In Goshogawara, Aomori, wrapped in a too-short kimono, the women smiled, “You’re the tallest Japanese person we’ve ever dressed!” They didn’t call me gaijin. They knew my jiichan and baachan. In that moment, I belonged—not by fitting in, but by being seen. My jiichan pointed to signs with his calligraphy, telling stories I felt more than understood. Belonging isn’t given. It’s felt—remembered through the body, when we’re still enough to receive it.

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